Legal Mail Fraud

Letters in your U.S. mailbox from American companies warning you that your vehicle warranty or Internet domain name has expired. Nothing but cowardly, faceless crooks.

Define “Price Gouging”

Retail gasoline prices in the United States go up just before every major holiday and yet the federal government maintains that price gouging doesn’t exist.

“I’m An Ass in the Morning”

This should be the name of the “Imus in the Morning” radio show. He’s too nasty and shallow for it to be called anything else.

Redneck Vibrator

Looks like a simple pickup truck but once the muffler is FUBAR it’s a masturbation device for rednecks everywhere. Comes in all sizes and colors.

Chariot of the Antichrist

I can think of 666 reasons for not owning one and global warming is at the top of that list. Then landscape scarring, then noise.

Executive Eye-Opener

If President Bush moved out of the White House and into a Walter Reed barrack he’d soon understand the grim reality and futility of war.

Pooh on the Pyramid

This has been America’s pagan idol ever since The All-Seeing Eye of God atop a pyramid was added to the back of our One-Dollar Bill.