1. "Attention, K-Mart shoppers!"
2. "Fill 'er up?"
3. "Fuller Brush!"
4. "You're welcome."
5. "Now a word from our alternate sponsor."
6. "I'll just take a little off the top."
Friday, August 7, 2009
Sunday, June 14, 2009
The Pause That Refreshes
Every now and then I like to stop and look at a goose. I'd stop and smell the roses but I don't have any roses.
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Old Game Show Panelists I Really Miss
Steve Allen, Orson Bean, Kitty Carlisle, Peggy Cass, Arlene Francis, Dorothy Kilgallen, Jane Meadows, Henry Morgan, Bess Myerson, Betsy Palmer, Tom Poston, Bennett Cerf
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Couch Potato
An inedible, biped vegetable with a tiny brain containing all the knowledge in the universe. Its habitats are dark interiors where television is readily available.
Friday, May 8, 2009
People Are Funny, Part II
If the year 1909 was called "nineteen-oh-nine" then why isn't the year 2009 called "twenty-oh-nine" instead of "two thousand nine"?
Monday, April 20, 2009
Cartoon Characters I'd Like to See Again
Clutch Cargo, Clyde Crashcup, Deputy Dawg, Dudley Do-Right, Huckleberry Hound, King Leonardo, Mr. Jinx, Mr. Magoo, Quick Draw McGraw, Rocky & Bullwinkle, Snagglepuss, Tom Terrific, Underdog
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Wanted: Dead or Alive
Microsoft Corporation. For crimes against humanity. Including, but not limited to, arming worldwide crime syndicates and using zeroes and ones to enslave an entire planet.
Monday, March 9, 2009
Tailgater
A stupid, hostile, lead-footed driver in a hurry who has no respect for others and no regard for the safety of others, including anyone's passengers.
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Two Lame Riddles for the Price of One
Q. What's a blue-collar worker's favorite time of day?
A. Miller Time
Q. What's a blue-collar worker's least favorite time of day?
A. Last Call
A. Miller Time
Q. What's a blue-collar worker's least favorite time of day?
A. Last Call
Friday, February 6, 2009
Top Five Symphony Orchestras
The Pittsburgh Symphony Orchestra, the Philadelphia Orchestra, the Chicago Symphony Orchestra, the Cleveland Orchestra and the London Symphony Orchestra. In my humble opinion, that is.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Revelation
"The world is not black-and-white. It's in living color."
— science fiction author Michael Casher, 1/13/09
Post updated 7-13-13 for text link.
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Monday, December 1, 2008
Thursday, November 6, 2008
How Obama Won the Presidency
Barack Obama could not possibly have won the 2008 Presidential Election without the votes cast by millions of white women who simply hate white men.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
The Day After
On the day after Election Day, just like the day after Halloween, all the false faces go back in the closet for another year.
Monday, November 3, 2008
McCain vs. Obama = No Contest
It's hard to choose between an apple and an orange when you really want a banana.
Saturday, November 1, 2008
Friday, October 3, 2008
Old Documentary TV Shows I'd Like to See Again
Biography, CBS Reports, Industry On Parade, On the Road with Charles Kuralt, The Big Picture, The 20th Century, The World At War, You Were There.
Monday, September 1, 2008
People Are Funny
Why is it considered perfectly all right to say you heard something on the radio but dumb to say you saw something on the TV?
Friday, August 15, 2008
Blogging Blues
Sometimes I think writing a blog (or eight of them) is like putting important messages in a bottle and then tossing it into a sewer.
Friday, July 18, 2008
Monday, July 7, 2008
Old TV Crime Dramas I’d Like to See Again
Hawaiian Eye, Highway Patrol, Hong Kong, Mannix, Naked City, Route 66, Peter Gunn, 77 Sunset Strip, Sky King, Surfside 6, The Name of the Game
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Old TV Westerns I’d Like to See Again
The Adventures of Wild Bill Hickok, Bat Masterson, Broken Arrow, Bronco Lane, Cheyenne, Death Valley Days, Have Gun Will Travel, Maverick, Rawhide, Sugarfoot, Wagon Train
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)