What killed science fiction?

"Hollywood crippled science fiction in the 1990s but TV was the real assassin. Horror and fantasy were the pallbearers. Vampires and dragons dug the grave."

-- Michael Casher, science fiction author, 11-24-09

Salad Fairy

When I woke up this morning and entered the kitchen to turn on the coffeemaker, I saw that I'd been visited by the salad fairy.

Happy Valley Riddle

Q. How many people from Happy Valley, PA does it take to change a light bulb?

A. All of them.

Redneck Riddle

Q. How many rednecks does it take to change a light bulb?

A. None. Only a fool would waste good beer money on light bulbs.

Another Thousand Words

Six Sentences I'd Like to Hear Again

1. "Attention, K-Mart shoppers!"

2. "Fill 'er up?"

3. "Fuller Brush!"

4. "You're welcome."

5. "Now a word from our alternate sponsor."

6. "I'll just take a little off the top."

The Pause That Refreshes

Every now and then I like to stop and look at a goose. I'd stop and smell the roses but I don't have any roses.

Old Game Show Panelists I Really Miss

Steve Allen, Orson Bean, Kitty Carlisle, Peggy Cass, Arlene Francis, Dorothy Kilgallen, Jane Meadows, Henry Morgan, Bess Myerson, Betsy Palmer, Tom Poston, Bennett Cerf

Couch Potato

An inedible, biped vegetable with a tiny brain containing all the knowledge in the universe. Its habitats are dark interiors where television is readily available.

People Are Funny, Part II

If the year 1909 was called "nineteen-oh-nine" then why isn't the year 2009 called "twenty-oh-nine" instead of "two thousand nine"?

Cartoon Characters I'd Like to See Again

Clutch Cargo, Clyde Crashcup, Deputy Dawg, Dudley Do-Right, Huckleberry Hound, King Leonardo, Mr. Jinx, Mr. Magoo, Quick Draw McGraw, Rocky & Bullwinkle, Snagglepuss, Tom Terrific, Underdog

Wanted: Dead or Alive

Microsoft Corporation. For crimes against humanity. Including, but not limited to, arming worldwide crime syndicates and using zeroes and ones to enslave an entire planet.

Tailgater

A stupid, hostile, lead-footed driver in a hurry who has no respect for others and no regard for the safety of others, including anyone's passengers.

Two Lame Riddles for the Price of One

Q. What's a blue-collar worker's favorite time of day?

A. Miller Time

Q. What's a blue-collar worker's least favorite time of day?

A. Last Call

Top Five Symphony Orchestras

The Pittsburgh Symphony Orchestra, the Philadelphia Orchestra, the Chicago Symphony Orchestra, the Cleveland Orchestra and the London Symphony Orchestra. In my humble opinion, that is.

Revelation

"The world is not black-and-white. It's in living color."

— science fiction author Michael Casher, 1/13/09

Post updated 7-13-13 for text link.

The Lamest Excuse for Bad Behavior

"What's the matter, can't you take a joke?"

A Traditional Holiday Greeting

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

How Obama Won the Presidency

Barack Obama could not possibly have won the 2008 Presidential Election without the votes cast by millions of white women who simply hate white men.

The Day After

On the day after Election Day, just like the day after Halloween, all the false faces go back in the closet for another year.

McCain vs. Obama = No Contest

It's hard to choose between an apple and an orange when you really want a banana.

What Dreams Are Made Of

Whatever you ate last night.

Old Documentary TV Shows I'd Like to See Again

Biography, CBS Reports, Industry On Parade, On the Road with Charles Kuralt, The Big Picture, The 20th Century, The World At War, You Were There.

People Are Funny

Why is it considered perfectly all right to say you heard something on the radio but dumb to say you saw something on the TV?